I'm slowly beginning to recognize that this series of events was always God's plan. Things have not gone my way for the last year and a half, and for good reason. See, I'm an ultra prideful person. And the worst part is, I never realized it was a problem. I was blinded by my own pridefulness. The changes to my plan are God's way of saying "Hey Cathy, I'm going to bring you down a notch because I have incredible things planned for you and your huge ego and plans are getting in the way." There's a difference in "being proud of my accomplishments" (New Year's 2009) than the pridefulness that fueled my thoughts and actions. For example, I always had this attitude that nannying was "beneath my expertise." WHAT? Get serious. I used so much of my teacher training during my nannying experience and have realized all over again why I love working with children. I'm so embarrassed to admit that; so many of my dear friends have nannied and I always secretly felt sorry for them. WHAT? Get serious. So, I'm terribly sorry and hope you can forgive my stupid thoughts against an honest, awesome way to work with kids.
Finally, I'm changing my attitude. Thanks to this unplanned experience, I've made some incredibly dear friendships, been challenged professionally, and developed spiritually. I've found an outlet to volunteer with elementary educational tutoring/mentoring, and will substitute here in local school systems while I'm reapplying for my professional Colorado teaching license.
This is the adventure I was seeking. I don't know what's in store for my life in the next 6 months, much less the next year or the next 10 years. All I know is that I'm asking God to change my heart for honest and altruistic motivations, and to help me abandon my selfish nature to glorify Him. I'm trying to constantly seek His plan, and trying my best to keep my ego in check. I think my 2011 resolution should be a nice mix of the last two years:
Embrace God's adventure for my life, no matter what the future holds.
Amen.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Embracing the Adventure - Part 1: The Recollection
So I've been computerless for the last few weeks, and I finally sucked it up and bought a new one so we've got TWO NEW POSTS comin' at ya. You lucky.
I recently looked back about my New Year's Resolutions from January 2009 and 2010. Most of them are the same (e.g. staying physically and socially active) but there are a couple that stand out from each year:
2009: Be proud of my accomplishments, no matter what the future holds.
2010: Embrace the adventure.
I find these two particularly interesting for a few reasons. January 2009 marked the beginning of my last semester in college. I knew the future was fairly uncertain, even though I certainly HAD a plan that I thought should be exactly executed haha In January 2010 I had already spent one full semester out of college and NOTHING that I expected to happen did. That's when I changed my attitude...sort of. God obviously had other plans for me, and it took me almost 2 years to recognize it. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me back up.
The plan all along was to secure a teaching job prior to graduation, move out to Colorado Springs, and live happily ever after. What actually happened was this:
Summer '09: No job at graduation - Not really hearing anything from Colorado schools - Kept summer student job (expecting to pickup and move at any moment) - August arrives and I still don't have a job - Too prideful to be a nanny, accept job anyway.
Fall '09: Having an incredibly experience with my nanny family - They encouraged me to move to Denver instead of the Springs - Called for a temporary position in student affairs - Accepted my new job to start in January.
Spring '10: Loving my job in student residential life - Making the ultimate decision to move to Colorado with no job and no friends
Summer '10: Make the move - Accept a part-time nanny position - Hop back on the retail train until something in education comes up - Temporary teaching license expires - Too qualified for para positions, not qualified enough for classroom teaching without a current license
Fall '10: Making the realization and accepting that I may be waiting until the 2011-2012 school year to finally secure my own classroom - Getting everything in place to substitute and network.
That's quite different from my fairytale one-line original plan, huh?
I recently looked back about my New Year's Resolutions from January 2009 and 2010. Most of them are the same (e.g. staying physically and socially active) but there are a couple that stand out from each year:
2009: Be proud of my accomplishments, no matter what the future holds.
2010: Embrace the adventure.
I find these two particularly interesting for a few reasons. January 2009 marked the beginning of my last semester in college. I knew the future was fairly uncertain, even though I certainly HAD a plan that I thought should be exactly executed haha In January 2010 I had already spent one full semester out of college and NOTHING that I expected to happen did. That's when I changed my attitude...sort of. God obviously had other plans for me, and it took me almost 2 years to recognize it. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me back up.
The plan all along was to secure a teaching job prior to graduation, move out to Colorado Springs, and live happily ever after. What actually happened was this:
Summer '09: No job at graduation - Not really hearing anything from Colorado schools - Kept summer student job (expecting to pickup and move at any moment) - August arrives and I still don't have a job - Too prideful to be a nanny, accept job anyway.
Fall '09: Having an incredibly experience with my nanny family - They encouraged me to move to Denver instead of the Springs - Called for a temporary position in student affairs - Accepted my new job to start in January.
Spring '10: Loving my job in student residential life - Making the ultimate decision to move to Colorado with no job and no friends
Summer '10: Make the move - Accept a part-time nanny position - Hop back on the retail train until something in education comes up - Temporary teaching license expires - Too qualified for para positions, not qualified enough for classroom teaching without a current license
Fall '10: Making the realization and accepting that I may be waiting until the 2011-2012 school year to finally secure my own classroom - Getting everything in place to substitute and network.
That's quite different from my fairytale one-line original plan, huh?
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