I had an epiphanical (if that’s not a word I just made it one) moment on my way home from work today followed by some serious reflection while listening to (none other) The Avett Brothers which was so rudely interrupted by some lady trying to cut me off and cause an accident during rush hour traffic. Thankfully, I did get in some good thinking before my thoughts wandered to some more “choice” words.
We’re doing this series at church entitled “I have a friend who…” and a couple of weeks go we dealt with “struggles with being single.” Ok, we’re about to get ultra vulnerable here, so just buckle up. This girl was once in a serious relationship. Big time serious. Abandon-your-friends-and-family-just-so-you-can-have-more-time-with-each-other serious. I was certain that “God blessed the broken road” that led him to my life, and we were headed for the aisle. Wrong.
Two years later and I have a couple of wounds that are still healing mmm…more like scarring, and they’re ugly. (A quick aside, I love my friends. You know who you are – you watched me cry, yell, get so angry I couldn’t even think of an outlet to express it and just shut you out.) Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck at the starting line, waiting for my life to start when I’ve found a career and a guy to share it with. As if my life has no significance while I’m still single. This was identified as the “Traditional View” of singleness during the lesson, so at least I know I’m not alone...haha isn’t that ironic?
The rest of our time was spent building us singles up. I learned that we have a ridiculous advantage. We can follow God’s call whenever, wherever – those decisions are only affecting one life. We also should have ridiculous appreciation – God is saying: “Cathy – accept this gift of singleness that I’m giving to you today” and that’s it. Accept right now for right now. The world needs my gifts, and my heart for others, and my want to serve.
Today, on my way home from work, I stopped pouting about being single. This is where I am for now, not forever, and I’m beginning to finally recognize that the one who will find me, to get rid of my singleness forever, is worth waiting for. The gun has gone off, and I’m starting my life.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Help Wanted
I discovered my passion for education sophomore year of college. I was taking the very first available class – Foundations of Education. I found myself excited to go to class each day, literally eating up the discussion and assignments. Nothing else mattered when I researched for those papers – I had finally found something in which I could absorb myself completely.
Breaking the news to my family that I was going to major in Education and plan on teaching elementary school after graduation was not an easy task. My parents have always supported my decisions, and I knew I could tell them anything. And yet, it took a little getting used to, to imagine that the cost of 4 years at my private university would equal over 6 years of a teacher’s salary. I took my next two years seriously preparing for a teaching career, and had an amazing experience with my department.
Now I’m still in the search for a teaching job, but it’s not my favorite thing to talk about. Not that it’s a sensitive subject; it’s just hard to tell people over and over that I’m still seeking a job that I feel so prepared for. I worked so hard, and cared so much about my projects and assignments and teaching experiences, but now I’m fighting feelings that I’m not as good of an educator, or I’m missing something that everyone else knows. What could I have done differently during college to better prepare me for this time? What is the key phrase to tell possible employers “HEY! I’m the best person for this position, and all I need is a chance to show you.” I realize that moving to a new area means that I might have to start small – substituting, assistant teaching, or even volunteering – to get my foot in the door, and that’s something I’m willing to do.
I know God has a perfect plan for me, and I know education is the career for me, but right now, more than anything, I think He’s trying to tell me to be patient. Be thankful for this day, and this place, and these people that I’m surrounded by. Keep doing what I’m doing. Stay close to the field that I love so much, no matter what, and the perfect job will find me.
Breaking the news to my family that I was going to major in Education and plan on teaching elementary school after graduation was not an easy task. My parents have always supported my decisions, and I knew I could tell them anything. And yet, it took a little getting used to, to imagine that the cost of 4 years at my private university would equal over 6 years of a teacher’s salary. I took my next two years seriously preparing for a teaching career, and had an amazing experience with my department.
Now I’m still in the search for a teaching job, but it’s not my favorite thing to talk about. Not that it’s a sensitive subject; it’s just hard to tell people over and over that I’m still seeking a job that I feel so prepared for. I worked so hard, and cared so much about my projects and assignments and teaching experiences, but now I’m fighting feelings that I’m not as good of an educator, or I’m missing something that everyone else knows. What could I have done differently during college to better prepare me for this time? What is the key phrase to tell possible employers “HEY! I’m the best person for this position, and all I need is a chance to show you.” I realize that moving to a new area means that I might have to start small – substituting, assistant teaching, or even volunteering – to get my foot in the door, and that’s something I’m willing to do.
I know God has a perfect plan for me, and I know education is the career for me, but right now, more than anything, I think He’s trying to tell me to be patient. Be thankful for this day, and this place, and these people that I’m surrounded by. Keep doing what I’m doing. Stay close to the field that I love so much, no matter what, and the perfect job will find me.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
A Night on the Town
What an introduction to Denver nightlife.
My roommate and I decided that a Friday night out was exactly what we needed – while we’re not normally club-hoppers, there is something exciting about fixing your hair and doing your makeup and finding the perfect outfit…especially when your day-to-day life is typically very low maintenance.
We got all dolled up, and headed to the lightrail station. This metro system will take you straight into downtown Denver from our neighborhood for a measly $4, a much better deal than the $15 parking decks or spending an hour fighting against those searching for the free street meters.
Unfortunately, the local place we were meeting up with friends was quite a hike from the lightrail station (and coincidentally, across the street from the former Real World: Denver house), and our feet were already beginning to hurt by the time we made it to the line. Reminder for next time: when you’re riding the lightrail, wear flats. We were the first of our group to arrive, and while we were waiting I discovered the following about the residents of my new city:
• The place is crawling with young people.
• The guys (try to) find creative ways to introduce themselves. A few samples from last night:
o OH MY GOSH…you’re beautiful.
o I saw you texting, but my phone’s not buzzing.
o I have some friends that would like to meet you.
o Where are you going next? I was going to go party with you.
o I’m a pro golfer, and I’ve played along side Tiger Woods.
Finally, we met up with our friends, and had a fantastic time of catching up and making weekend plans. But, soon it was time to call it a night. N* and I decided to catch an earlier train. The last pickup from downtown leaves at 1:45, so everyone who’s hanging around for those last moments of the night hops on then. We fortunately left a little after 1:00, but were not without our share of interesting characters on the train.
There was the 50+ woman who stumbled into, and hit on, any guy seeming to be under 30. There was the young-20s girl who was being supported by her friends, getting sick and falling asleep a couple of seats back. There was the mid-20s guy who fell into a deep sleep, rolled off his seat, and cracked his head on the floor. Since he appeared to be alone, N* called 911 and had an ambulance meet him at the next stop. He tried to say he was fine, and the Wackenhut security officers had to physically take him off the train to get checked out.
All in all, it was definitely an interesting night, and I couldn’t have been with better company. Each day I’m becoming better friends with my roommates, a true success story from Craigslist.
Next time, we’ll probably take the 1:45 train, just to see what happens.
My roommate and I decided that a Friday night out was exactly what we needed – while we’re not normally club-hoppers, there is something exciting about fixing your hair and doing your makeup and finding the perfect outfit…especially when your day-to-day life is typically very low maintenance.
We got all dolled up, and headed to the lightrail station. This metro system will take you straight into downtown Denver from our neighborhood for a measly $4, a much better deal than the $15 parking decks or spending an hour fighting against those searching for the free street meters.
Unfortunately, the local place we were meeting up with friends was quite a hike from the lightrail station (and coincidentally, across the street from the former Real World: Denver house), and our feet were already beginning to hurt by the time we made it to the line. Reminder for next time: when you’re riding the lightrail, wear flats. We were the first of our group to arrive, and while we were waiting I discovered the following about the residents of my new city:
• The place is crawling with young people.
• The guys (try to) find creative ways to introduce themselves. A few samples from last night:
o OH MY GOSH…you’re beautiful.
o I saw you texting, but my phone’s not buzzing.
o I have some friends that would like to meet you.
o Where are you going next? I was going to go party with you.
o I’m a pro golfer, and I’ve played along side Tiger Woods.
Finally, we met up with our friends, and had a fantastic time of catching up and making weekend plans. But, soon it was time to call it a night. N* and I decided to catch an earlier train. The last pickup from downtown leaves at 1:45, so everyone who’s hanging around for those last moments of the night hops on then. We fortunately left a little after 1:00, but were not without our share of interesting characters on the train.
There was the 50+ woman who stumbled into, and hit on, any guy seeming to be under 30. There was the young-20s girl who was being supported by her friends, getting sick and falling asleep a couple of seats back. There was the mid-20s guy who fell into a deep sleep, rolled off his seat, and cracked his head on the floor. Since he appeared to be alone, N* called 911 and had an ambulance meet him at the next stop. He tried to say he was fine, and the Wackenhut security officers had to physically take him off the train to get checked out.
All in all, it was definitely an interesting night, and I couldn’t have been with better company. Each day I’m becoming better friends with my roommates, a true success story from Craigslist.
Next time, we’ll probably take the 1:45 train, just to see what happens.
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